07.17.08 ~ Week Twenty

There’s His Pickle
Since we returned to NY from the beach, Jason and I have been counting down the days and hours until today’s sonogram appointment. We’ve been dying to find out the sex of the baby and have been obsessed with discussing anything related to gender – well, mostly names since I refuse to think many other things should be linked to gender (like colors, careers, interests, or talents). So this afternoon at 1:55pm we met in front of St. Vincent’s Hospital both a little nervous to go in (in fact I was so nervous I had given myself diarrhea earlier in the morning). I’m really not sure why I was so nervous. I had long ago given up on wanting a girl. It became clear to me early in the pregnancy that although I could imagine having a girl easier than I could imagine a boy – both were equally exciting to me and both offer their own benefits. And at first I not only wanted a girl but was totally convinced the baby actually was a girl – because, as Vera put it, we have so many girls in our family, we just think of all babies as girls. But as soon as I started feeling the baby moving on a regular basis, I was pretty sure it was a boy. I guess even I fell prey to gender stereotypes since I immediately thought that someone so active and who could kick and punch with such force must also be growing a little penis in there. Jason on the other hand, really, really wanted a boy from the very beginning – so in true Hetzner fashion he thought he would fool the Universe into giving him his boy by announcing to anyone who would listen that he thought it was a girl. I can’t explain this backward jinxing thing he does – but because he plays this game often (usually with sports), I knew all along that he actually thought it was a boy; even though he never said it out loud.

As the technician jelled up my belly and brought up the image of our precious little baby a new thought quietly snuck into both mine and Jason’s minds. We both remembered then that we weren’t actually there for a gender scan but an anatomy scan. Maybe that’s why I had been so nervous all morning. Jason and I had our sweaty hands intertwined as the technician checked the heart, the arms, the legs, and the brain. She didn’t say much about all of these parts, but gave us enough positive feedback that we stopped worrying just a little. Then she pulled up a new angle and announced that it’s a boy. Our big exciting news came so fast that Jason had to repeat it back to her “It’s a boy?”
“Yes a boy. There’s his pickle.”
I looked over at Jason and saw the same big grin I saw on the night we took the pregnancy test. The rest of the examination took quite a while, as she scanned the ears, eyes, jaw, kidneys, bladder, stomach, and bones (and maybe other things that I may be forgetting). She completed the examination and let us know that the doctor would be in soon. When we left Jason and I were alone to talk about our little baby BOY! He took that opportunity to let me know that he had actually been thinking all along it was a boy. And I let him know that I’m on to his backwards voodoo and knew his true guess all along. So I knew that he knew….. But the best part is that he was ready to prove to me that he had been right all along. As proof he had saved his real guess in a Word document the day before. Now that’s a kid who really likes to be right (although I question his Word document method of proof).

Then the doctor came in and re-jelled me up to take a look for himself. He had kept us waiting for quite a while, so the first thing he announced once he had a clear picture was that my bladder had filled up. Yup. So he let me get up to pee and then got to work on re-measuring all of the parts. The doctor was much more verbal than the technician had been and told us that our baby looked “beautiful, beautiful”. More importantly he let us know that the brain and spine looked good, that the baby had two arms, two legs, two kidney’s, ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, two ears, an upper and lower jaw, a stomach, a bladder, and a “beautiful” heart with four complete chambers. Our little baby’s bill of health was squeaky clean. So we left the doctor’s office feeling lucky and happy and a little bit accomplished – because I can’t help but be a little proud of my body for building a complete baby.
This week and this appointment mark a new phase in the pregnancy. First, the twentieth week is the middle mark and therefore means that our little turkey is halfway to being fully cooked. Second, this week was the first time someone on the subway noticed I was pregnant and offered up their seat for me. And third, now that we know it’s a boy – and I can feel him in there moving around all the time – I can actually picture a little of what he’s going to be like. I think that for Jason especially, this information is helping him form an attachment to something that is otherwise mostly abstract. I think we’re well on our way to becoming a little family of three - and in about 20 more weeks, we’ll get to meet our third member in ‘real life’.