The last weeks of pregnancy are like the advent countdown to Christmas. At the point where you’re about a month away, the excitement starts to build and you think about it every day, but you know you still have a way to go. Then as the days and weeks pass, there are more and more signs that Christmas is right around the corner. Shopping, gift wrapping, decorating, Christmas music on the radio, etc. Like hanging an advent calendar on December 1st, two weeks ago our CBS appointments kicked into high gear (one per week) as a clear sign that labor is approaching. To mark the occasion, Elizabeth gave us a photocopied sheet of paper with instructions on what to do and when to call them when I think I’m in labor. I also got a pelvic exam to test for Step B and to check on the state of my cervix. Normally a private matter, my cervix has now become a common topic of conversation with anyone who knows anything about labor. I was barely dilated (she didn’t even utter the words “one centimeter”) and about 40% or 50% effaced. However, I also learned at that appointment that my blood pressure was a little higher than it had been previously. She asked that I lay down on my side for at least two hours every afternoon to try and keep it from creeping higher.
The next week (this past Tuesday), we were back at CBS, this time to see Barbara. Jason came along to this appointment as well since he was working in the city that day. The first thing she did was take my blood pressure which was now up to 130/80. Then she asked me if it was possible for me to stop working. Of course it was – and since then I have. So like setting up a Christmas tree in the living room, I now have a big daily change to serve as a reminder that something is about to happen. My instructions from Barbara were to spend the majority of the day laying on my side to try and keep my blood pressure from going up any higher. She said an hour of activity at a time is fine, but for every hour I spend up, I should also spend an hour down. So, on Wednesday I went to work, tied up loose ends, said goodbye, got a flu shot on campus, and headed home to lay down. Since then I’ve still been doing work from home, but since I only do it in hour-long bouts, I feel like I’m living a life of leisure. It’s quite a change from heading to work, sitting at my desk, and being surrounded by the other students. But in a way I think it might be an important transition time. Otherwise, going from working every day, to suddenly being home all the time while caring for a newborn, may have been a pretty jarring change. Since my blood pressure isn’t high enough to panic, I now have the perfect excuse to relax a little and rest before the baby comes, all without really having to worry about my health or the baby’s.
It goes without saying that Jason is wonderful and supportive and happy to do whatever needs doing so that I can lay around on the couch. But I’ve also been very well taken care of by my coworkers from NCCF. I’ve gotten several calls and emails asking how things are going and Anna, Alex, and Rachel have all stopped in to say hello. Anna came over for our weekly dissertation session even though she knew I would be chatting her up and distracting her every other hour, Alex came by to have lunch with us, and Rachel stopped by to drop off a huge bag of DVDs to keep me entertained (specifically, the entire Felicity series – Jill and Pia: you’re both a little jealous now aren’t you??).
So, as if being home all day isn’t enough to remind me that something big is about to happen, I’m also having little bitty signs that labor is coming. None of these signs reflect *when* it’s coming – just that it is. I realized the other day that I’ve been having tons of Braxton Hicks contractions. It was a sudden realization because, until I looked up descriptions of what they should feel like, I was under the impression that Braxton Hicks contractions should hurt. But once I read that, unlike real contractions, they don’t have to hurt, but rather usually feel like a tightening across the front of your uterus – I realized that I’ve been having about twenty of those per day for a while now. Then on Friday I also started noticing occasional period-like cramping in my lower abdomen. When I told my mom about this she got really excited because she said that it’s those cramps that are pulling on (and perhaps causing changes in) my cervix. So unlike Christmas which predictably comes on the 25th each year, I have no idea when our big day will be here. But things are changing and signs are popping up and there is no denying that it is indeed coming.
Since Helki specifically asked how I’ve been sleeping at night – I thought I’d take the opportunity to brag a little about how good of a sleeper I am. At the end of the day, no matter how tired I am, or how uncomfortable I might feel, my head hits the pillow and I’m out. I can sleep through groin pressure, pelvic pain, Braxton Hicks contractions, and an aching back. But every night, punctually between 4:30 and 5am I wake up and have to pee. I stumble to the bathroom in the dark, get a drink of water, and try not to think about anything so that I can return to my peaceful slumber as quickly and seamlessly as possible. Usually this routine works great and I don’t wake up again until our alarm goes off a few hours later. However, occasionally it fails and my mind starts racing. As much as I try to control them, at 5am there are times when my thoughts take on a life of their own. I’m innocently sitting in the dark bathroom peeing and then suddenly the fear of labor grips me. Then I think about what our kiddo is going to look like, and what bringing him home and lugging him and baby gear up and down our apartment steps will be like. Then I think about what it will be like when he’s inconsolably crying, and thus try to remember and review the techniques I’ve been reading about to sooth a crying baby. Then I think about going home for Christmas, and everyone meeting him and holding him and me taking lots of pictures. Then I think about my dissertation and school and how and when I’m going to finish and how I’ll eventually be a working mom and striving to be brilliant both at work and as a mother. Then my thoughts wonder back to the baby and how he’ll get older so fast and what he’ll like to do…whether he’ll be sporty or artsy or both or neither…. Sometimes my thoughts can drift all the way to when he’s a teenager and what kind of parents we’ll be when we’ve just found out he’s been cutting school, aced a big exam, been doing drugs, just been accepted into college, or sleeping with his girlfriend (or boyfriend?). And before you know it, I’m awake for hours and the sun is coming up and my mind is in a total state of frenzy. Luckily, this only happens about once per week.
The last thing that I absolutely have to comment on is of course….the election! For Jason and me this historic day had everything to do with our unborn child. As my friend Chris so elegantly put it “Congrats to us, Nina!! You are now officially cleared to have your baby.” I am not so naïve to think that Obama will magically change the world. As he himself said in his acceptance speech, there is a lot of work to be done and it won’t happen easily or quickly. As my dad put it in an email to all his kids, “A better America will not come easily and Obama said as much last night. It will be a steep climb of recovery. For our environment, our economy, international relations, you name it. And as it was said as well, we all need to work together on this. Millions of small steps are needed in so many fields, so many ideas, so much support. I want to ask you as your father and someone who has tried to provide some guidance to you through all these years to become active, get involved, and do your part in your corner of the country.”
But there are some changes that were immediately in effect on November 4th. From the time of birth, our child will grow up (maybe until the age of eight!) in a world where an articulate, intelligent, and charismatic man is running our country and representing us abroad. He’ll learn about the president in school and learn that to be president you should be well-educated, hard working, and outstanding – not folksy, rich, common, and good at working a crowd. He’ll know that this is a man who in his acceptance speech “acknowledge[d] the forgotten places and people huddled around radios who wanted to see if, in truth, a man with dark skin, who had lived in Muslim countries, who had grown up in a modest and so called "broken" home, who had worked as an activist and dared to connect with people on the fringes of activism and society could really be elected to lead the most powerful country in the world. He acknowledged their realities and their value on the global political scene and gave so many people the ability to dream and believe that there are opportunities and dare I say ‘hope’” (Hannah’s words).
Our son will also know that when the president is speaking on TV, his parents are listening and focused on content rather than laughing and rolling their eyes while dwelling on grammatical errors and the misuse of the English language (like we’ve been doing for the past eight years). He’ll have parents who are excited to do their part since they won’t feel their political views are not represented in Washington. He will live in a country that is no longer politically divided smack down the center, but where a large majority of people voted for one man and where that same majority is more vocal, better mobilized, and more energetic than Americans have been in a long time. I hope for his sake that the next four or eight years are as magnificent and as extraordinary as I think they will be - and that our son grows up in a world where this is not the exception, but rather the norm.
Liam's first time in Central Park with Nana and Grandpa.
Liam looking into the light.
This morning my mom and Jason took Liam to the pediatrician for his first appointment. He "passed" the examination with flying colors. He has already gained back enough weight to surpass his birth weight, has already lost his umbilical cord stump and has a fully formed belly button (weeks earlier than normal), and was deemed generally perfect by a objective third party. 
So far he seems to really enjoy his car seat. Both times he’s been in it he’s fallen asleep. This time when he came home we took the opportunity to file down his nails. They had grown dangerously long and had to be hidden under sleeves or mitts to protect the fragile skin on his face.
