10.13.11 ~ Old

Nina: The neighbor brought you some new books!
Liam: Why?
Nina: Because she thinks you're cool and fun.
Liam: I'm not cool and fun. I'm old.
Nina: So, you can't be cool and fun and old?
Liam: No. You're old. Daddy is old too.

10.8.11 ~ And I Quote...

Liam: (with a sudden burst of happiness, jumping in to my lap and hugging me tightly) "I love you! You're my friend, Mommy."

Me: "Thank you, Liam! You're my friend too. But are you drunk?"

Liam: "No! I'm not drunk. I'm happy!"

Our happy, drunk child was a trooper during the move. He adjusted to his new room with no problem and certainly enjoyed the boxes stacked everywhere more than Jason and I did.

We moved in and unpacked all of the boxes in record time. The only thing left to do is hang some pictures, which is still going to take a little thought. Once that's done, I'll post some pictures of our new home.

Today we took Liam to the Bronx Zoo where they have a little Halloween thing going on during the month of October. Children in costumes get in free. So we loaded our little Triceratops into a Zip Car and headed on over.

 As we walked into the Zoo, we bumped into two of Liam's friends from school. 

9.27.11 ~ Dr. Nina Philipsen Hetzner

I did it! I passed my dissertation defense today! I am posting the acknowledgements and dedication from my dissertation here. It only seems appropriate. Sort of like an acceptance speech.

***

I would like to extend heartfelt thanks to the many people who have played such a large role in my graduate school experience. First and foremost, I would like to thank my advisor, Brooke, for accepting me as a student, for allowing me to work and learn under her, and for guiding me as I explored my seemingly different, but eventually overlapping, research interests. I would also like to thank my dissertation committee. With each meeting along the dissertation process, my heart would race as I faced the group of powerhouse researchers that is my committee. However, by the end of each meeting, my anxieties were always eased by their guidance, constructive feedback, encouragement, and kindness.

I am also thankful for my colleagues at the National Center for Children and Families. The students and the post-doctoral research scientists at NCCF have answered countless questions for me, edited many of my drafts, shared study materials with me, and have offered me much moral support over the years. Specifically, Rachel Razza, my post-doctoral advisor, and Liza Malone, my student advisor, took me under their smart, organized, hard working, analytic, and protective wings as I muddled through the first few years of my doctoral program. And then there’s Anna Johnson: my office mate, my motivator, my therapist, my academic example, and my grad school “spouse”. I am so thankful for everything she has done for me along the way and can only hope I will somehow find a way to repay her in the coming years.

I would also like to thank our dissertation work group which was formed during Jane Waldfogel’s class on Methods for Policy Analysis but has lasted for many semesters after. I would like to thank them for the draft reading, the presentation practicing, the hours of discussion about our research ideas and our future careers, and for the friendships that I know will last for years to come.

The Rita Gold Early Childhood Center, where my son has spent many hours, also holds a special place in my heart. Thank you to all of his incredible teachers for providing a safe, happy, and enriching place for Liam to go, while his mother contemplated the ins and outs of maternal work!

During looming deadlines, conferences, and summer breaks from child care, my parents, my siblings, and my in-laws have again and again swooped in to the save the day and my sanity. Also, I am thankful for my parents who have set the example for what hard work is and have showed me that it is possible to have it all: family, education, and a career. I am also indebted to my mother who is the most amazing writer and editor I know. She has spent hours reading and editing for me and has an unmatched talent for simplifying my overcomplicated sentences.

Finally, I would like to dedicate this dissertation to my husband, Jason, my son, Liam, and our little bun-in-the-oven to be named later. It is Jason who willingly married a “career student” knowing that there would be years of living in the most expensive city on the planet, in a tiny apartment, on one income. Jason has never complained or questioned why a PhD takes so long. Instead he has been my head cheerleader. He is always ready to toast my successes with me or ready to scoop me back up with a pep talk and some “Jason humor” after my failures. And then Liam came along, who taught me more about children and families than I could have learned from a thousand text books. I strive to set the same example of hard, meaningful work for Liam that my parents have set for me. This extra motivation has driven me forward in many situations where I otherwise felt stalled. Lastly, I should mention our unborn child, who will have lived the ups and downs of dissertation writing, defending, and depositing for the majority of her gestation. May she come away unscathed. This dissertation belongs as much to my family as it does to me.

***

9.25.11 ~ No More Baby Mama Drama

We had a very lovely 20 week anatomy scan on Friday: The baby is still a girl, the placenta is nowhere near my cervix and has also implanted higher than my section scar (which is good), the clot has reabsorbed and was no longer visable, and all of the anatomy was normal. She's also a normal size for 20 weeks. This marks the end of the drama for this pregnancy, I hope. We learned that she moves a lot (which I could have told you myself) and that most ultrasound pictures of her come out blurry as a result. We also saw that while she loves to move her body around, she somehow manages to keep her face smooshed into the placenta. The tech tried several different tricks to get her to move her face before she was able to get the images above. As you can see, we got some 3D action! She's still a little skinny, but I still think she's pretty cute.

Also we found an apartment and are in the middle of packing hell. But it will all be worth it in about a week when we're happily settled into our new place.... and WALKING to school!

I defend my dissertation on Tuesday. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Especially since I spent the weekend packing (and apparently now blogging) instead of preparing.

9.12.11 ~ Big Life Plan

Here's the plan:

1. Move back to Manhattan to shorten the commute to Columbia - which I will soon be doing with two kids in tow.

2. Secure post-doc funding so that I am making money, building my CV, working flexible hours, and am still affiliated with Columbia (so that Liam can stay at his school).

3. Enroll Baby #2 at Liam's school.

4. Enjoy living, working, and being parents in New York City.

But we are failing miserably at step one right now. Dammit, New York, be cheaper! Step four will never happen if we are miserable in a tiny, dumpy apartment with two small children.

**Pictures by Chris.

9.9.11 ~ Babies, Babies, Everywhere

Sorry, everyone, for the long pause in blogging. I promise it was all for good reason. I’m going to try and do this update without rambling on and on about details. So, bullet points? Yea, sure, why not.

-We kicked August (and Liam’s school’s summer break) off with a week with a babysitter so that I could keep working on my dissertation.

-Then, Liam and I evacuated to Baltimore for two weeks. The plan was for Liam to spend time with family while I worked.

-Liam had a blast with all of his grandparents and cousins. And I got a lot of work done.

-And – this is BIG – Hannah and Toros had their baby on August 8th!! After, like, 60 hours of labor or something, little Kaya was finally here! And what a cutie he is. Lots of black, beautiful hair and the sweetest little mouth I’ve ever seen. Now that we’re back in NY, I dream about the day I can stare at his sweet little face again.

- Not long after Kaya’s arrival – in a not-so-fun turn of events – Jason, my mom, and I got to spend a night in the ER due to pregnancy related bleeding. Tests in the ER showed nothing was wrong (baby, placenta, and cervix all looked good). We were baffled, but quite relieved. The ER doctor recommended I follow up with doctors in NY.

-I followed up with our midwives who did a bunch of tests that also showed all was well.

-But they sent me for another sonogram where I learned that I had a full placenta previa and that it had likely caused the bleeding.

-I went to a doctor for a second opinion.

-I had another sonogram where I learned that I did NOT have a previa at all and that the bleeding was caused by a clot.

-It’s all been very confusing. Apparently, I have a mobile placenta. But no more bleeding and no more testing since then. So, we’ll see what we find out at our 20 week anatomy scan, which is coming up soon.

-We also found out that we’re having a GIRL! I wanted a girl. I know, I shouldn’t say that. So let me rephrase: I really want a healthy baby that also happens to be a girl! So I am very, very happy.

-On August 25^th, Jason’s and my wedding anniversary, I felt the first real, legitimate moving from the baby. I thought I had been feeling it for a while before that. But on this day it was fo’ real. Even Liam could feel it from the outside.

-After the placenta dust had settled, I returned to work on my dissertation. With a lot of help from Jason (because Liam’s school was still closed), I got it all written just in the nick of time...in the midst of an earthquake and a hurricane.

-350 pages have been turned in to my committee for them to review before my final defense on the 27th.

- The day after I turned my dissertation in, on August 7^th, Jonas and Brittany had their little boy, beautiful Heiko. I am very happy for them and very depressed for myself that I can’t go meet him in person RIGHT NOW. I’m hoping that once I get my dissertation deposited, I can reward myself with a little “meet Heiko” journey to Denver.

-Liam now has six (!) cousins!

-This week was Liam’s (very rainy) first week of school. Not only did we accidently leave the stroller at my parents’ house in Baltimore, but also I really shouldn’t be carrying it up and down the subway stairs in my “condition”. So, Liam has been riding the subway with me like a big boy...walking and sitting in his own seat. And I bought him a backpack so that he can also carry his own lunch like a big boy. The backpack brings him to a whole new level of cuteness, I must say.

8.25.11 ~ 4th Anniversairy

Oh, I have so much to catch up on. I don't even know where to start. Therefore, I will start another day. Until then: Happy Anniversary, Jason! I love you and I am glad that you and I are in this madness together.

8.2.11 ~ Guess What?!

Guess What?! from Nina Philipsen Hetzner on Vimeo.

7.31.11 ~ Summer is Flying By

This summer has been going by so fast. I can't believe that tomorrow is the first day of August already. Though, I must admit, this summer hasn't been the most enjoyable. In large part because of the crazy heat we've had here. Our little window air conditioners have been chugging along. But on many days they really haven't been keeping up. The main reason I'm sad (actually panicky) about the passing of time is that days are ticking down until my dissertation defense in September. And I still have A LOT of writing left to do. To complicate matters, Liam's school is closed for summer break now. So we've hatched a little plan so that I can keep working on my dissertation despite not having child care. Tomorrow Liam and I are headed to Baltimore (without Jason because he has to stay and work) for two weeks so that Liam can hang with his grandparents while I write. Also, Hannah is due any day now, so we'll also be eagerly awaiting the arrival of baby Kaya. Hannah has a small army of people lined up ready to help see her and Toros through those crazy first few days of parenthood. Smart lady. Because we all know there's no wilder ride. I can't wait to meet the little bugger.

In other news, I've been keeping up with the cooking. And I'm getting better, if I do say so myself. This is a big deal for me, people. I've always sworn I would never cook because I hate doing it. But, in the end it seems my love for eating food has won out over my hatred for the kitchen. And really, it's not not fun. I don't actually hate it. I'm building my confidence by sticking to easy and fast recipes. And Liam has been a trooper, trying almost everything I set in front of him. Even Jason is jumping in on the action. He made scrumptious french toast last weekend for breakfast...both days. And last night he made a pasta dish that involved pesto from scratch. Not bad for a kid who, only the day before, couldn't have told you the base ingredient in pesto!

7.24.11 ~ Woofing

Liam: "That dog is woofing."
Nina: "That dog is barking. But I guess you can say 'woofing'. Anyone would know what you mean."
Liam: "That dog is barfing."