On Tuesday I had
an appointment with our midwife, Barbara. When she checked, I was barely
dilated; less than a centimeter. She tried to do a little sweep of the
membranes, but wasn't able to really get in there. I went on with my day,
feeling a little crampy. Wednesday morning I woke up with a little more
crampiness which quickly turned in pretty regular contractions. They were mild
and far apart, but noticeably there. Liam and I went about our day as usual but
by late afternoon I called Jason and told him that he should come home from
work because they were getting closer together and stronger. By Liam's bed time
I also called my parents and told them they should start making their way to
New York. The contractions were coming about 10 minutes apart and were getting
stronger. My parents arrived around midnight. Jason and I had already called
Barbara who had said to call her again when they were consistently 7 minutes
apart. Jason and I showered and packed our hospital bag. However, not long
after my parents' arrival, instead of getting closer together, the contractions
actually spaced out. We all went to bed and for the rest of the night I was
waking up about every 15 to 20 minutes and then eventually every 30 minutes for
contractions. By the morning, my contractions had spaced out to about every 40
minutes or so.
Throughout the
day on the Thursday they got closer together and stronger again the same way
they had the day before. Just after midnight Jason and I woke up my mom and
called Barbara to alert everyone that I had had a period of contractions about
5 minutes apart. Jason and I took showers and threw last minute things into our
hospital bag. Just as we were ready to leave, my contractions spaced out again
and we all went to bed again. By morning the contractions were about every 40
minutes again. By then I was pretty
frustrated, so Jason and I called Barbara to ask why this was consistently not
going anywhere. She assured us that it was totally normal for early labor to
drag on and that I was experiencing a series of disorganized contractions. We
hung up with Barbara feeling a bit reassured. A few minutes later she called
back and offered to come over to our apartment to check whether I had dilated
at all since Tuesday.
After a quick
exam we learned I had dilated to almost three centimeters. Again, and this time
more successfully, she did a sweep of the membranes. We convened in the living
room with my parents to talk about our options. Barbara said we could either
keep waiting for things to get consistent on their own or we could go to the
hospital at any time and she would break my bag of water to get things going. We
decided to wait at least one more day because once the water is broken you’re
on the clock and have to deliver within 24 hours, one way or another.
Barbara left and Jason and I went with my
parents to the grocery store (Liam was at school). By the time we got around
the corner, the contractions were rolling in every couple of minutes. In fact, I
was having a hard time telling where one ended and the next began. I powered
through our little shopping trip and was happy to get back home. There, the
contractions spaced out just enough that one, I could handle them, and two, I was
pretty certain they were going to stop again. However, they didn't and soon we
were preparing to go to the hospital again. I didn’t really want to go because I
was afraid everything would stop again. But then Barbara called and said she
had been downtown anyway and had just gone to the hospital since it was near
rush hour and that we could just meet her there anytime we wanted. So we got a
car, kissed Liam (who Klaus had picked up from school by then) goodbye, and
left.
Once we got to
the hospital I got the IV with the antibiotics, a fluid IV, and of course the
baby and contraction monitors. As soon as the baby monitor was on, we heard the
regular fast heart beat of the baby slow to down to a snail's pace. The nurse
told me to roll onto my left side and I burst into tears since it was a pretty
vivid reminder of the drama we had been through during Liam’s birth. But the
baby’s heart rate came right back up and stayed pretty healthy from that point
forward. Barbara was very encouraging, telling me that everything that was
happening was normal. Soon after the first round of antibiotics I also asked
for and got an epidural. The epidural was wonderful. I felt so relieved after
having contractions pretty steadily for two and a half days. It was great to
finally feel relaxed and pain free. After the epidural was in, Barbara broke my
bag of water. And the water was clear! I rested and slept a little, Jason
napped in the chair, and my mom and Barbara chatted and caught up.
With the
epidural I could still feel some of the contractions, but only as a pulling
versus pain. At one point, the pain returned, so Barbara fetched the anesthesiologist
who came back and topped me off. Totally
pain free, I dilated to about 9cm by midnight and the baby had dropped the way
she was supposed to. As the contractions turned to transition contractions on
the monitor I started feeling a little bit woozy. I had started getting the
shakes and was beginning to feel a bit nauseous. I sat up in the bed to try and
get past the feeling. I was really thirsty and really wanted water, but was
stuck with ice chips. Barbara told me to let her know if I got the urge to
push. I didn't. And eventually she checked me again. She said I was still
around 9 cm because there was just a tiny bit of cervix left. But she
recommended we start pushing and just try and push past it. So I got in the
pushing position, sort of on my back. She gave me instructions to hold my legs
under my knees, stick my elbows out, tuck my chin, make a C with my back, hold
my breath, and push down. We waited for a contraction and with the first few
pushes the last of the cervix was out of the way. The nausea and wooziness went
away as soon as I started pushing. It felt good to be able to do something. With
each new contraction I pushed with Barbara, Jason’s, my mom’s, and the nurse’s
words of encouragement as feedback. I could feel the pulling from each
contraction, but absolutely no pain. I also didn’t have much biofeedback as to
how the pushing was going, so I tried to follow to Barbara’s instructions. After
about 40 minutes of pushing Barbara told me to reach down and feel the top of
the baby’s head. It was totally surreal. I’m pretty sure I said the word "weird".
Barbara coached me through getting the head out. She told me when to push and
when to hold back. Jason said later that it looked like she was DJ-ing” down
there, pulling, poking, stretching to make sure the baby's head came out
without any tearing. Soon the head was out, then the shoulders took a few more
pushes, and then, right around 1:30am, the baby was there. I felt an immediate
lightness as soon as she was out. Barbara asked for a little oxygen right away
for her and then realized that she had a really short cord. Barbara couldn't place
her directly on my chest because the cord couldn't reach. We waited a few
minutes for the cord to stop pulsing. Then Jason cut it and Barbara could
finally put the baby on my chest. It didn't feel real. I couldn't believe the
VBAC had been successful and that I was now holding her. She was all wrapped up
in a towel and looking a little shocked herself. It took another push to get
the placenta out, which Barbara examined, and Jason and I stared at in awe. The
nurse weighed the baby and did the APGAR test (9 and 9!) and handed her back to
me. As soon as she was born, she looked so beautiful and tiny and alert. And
within minutes after birth she started making sucking motions with her mouth
and latched on wonderfully. For both Jason and me, it was pretty much love at
first sight with little Nora. Nora Mareike Benz Hetzner was now officially part
of the outside world!
During all of those showers that Jason and I took in preparation
to go to the hospital, so many nights in a row, we held our final negotiations about
the baby’s name. We ended up choosing Nora over Veda, which was our other front
runner name. We picked Mareike after my middle name and because it’s a version
of Marie (which is Gram’s middle name) and Maria (which is one of Omi’s middle
names). We chose Benz to connect her with Inge’s family and to mirror Liam’s
third name, Philip, which is for Philipsen.
Liam, Meet Nora
Liam came the hospital on Saturday morning with Klaus to
meet his new baby sister. Jason met them in the hallway to greet Liam and to
intercept with some hand washing before he came in to the room. As soon as his
hands were clean, Liam burst past the curtain, gave me a quick glance and immediately
asked where his baby sister was. She was lying in her basinet so he climbed
onto the hospital bed so that he could peek in at her. He asked to hold her so
we set him up on the couch with some pillows. Liam was so sweet and gentle with
her. He held her with both hands around her little body and looked right at
her. He looked at her hands and feet and then lifted up her shirt to look at
her belly. He said "That’s a really cool clip" about Nora's cord clamp. Next
Liam got really close to her face to study her features. Then he looked up and
asked "where's that fire that goes in her mouth?" Jason, my parents, and I just
looked at each other puzzled. But suddenly Jason said "Oh! You mean a pacifier?" We explained that she didn't use a pacifier yet. After a few more questions (what's
that on her nose?) he was finished holding her and played with his cars on the
window sill. He asked to hold her several more times during his short visit.
When it was time to go, Liam was pretty hungry and started having a meltdown.
But the fit wasn't about leaving Jason and me. Liam was sad because he had to
leave without his baby sister (who he weirdly referred to as "that little guy").
Since their
initial meeting, Liam's enthusiasm for his little sister hasn't decreased. He's
still very excited to see her and often wants to hold her. When she cries he springs
up out of his seat faster than Jason or I do to go check on her. On our second
night home from the hospital, I was putting Liam to bed and Jason had Nora in the
living room. Liam and I could hear Nora crying as I was singing him his bedtime
songs. Liam, who was holding my hand during our songs, looked up at me and said "Mommy, maybe Nora needs you." Thank goodness it was dark in his room, because I
burst into those crazy, sobby, postpartum tears. Such a sweet gesture of Liam
to offer to give up the first one-on-one time with me in several days for Nora.
Of course he's
had a few dark moments too. Sometimes he gets quite overwhelmed when he doesn’t
have my full attention or when he has to wait to get something he wants. But
overall - so far - Liam's reaction to
having a new little baby his home has been much more positive and much less
dramatic than I had prepared myself for. It's only been about a week now but
so far so good. Keep your fingers crossed that the trend continues!
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