5.17.12 ~ Hooding

Yesterday was the doctoral hooding ceremony for Teachers College. They only do it in the spring, so although I deposited my dissertation in October, I was "hooded" yesterday. My parents took the train up from Baltimore. Together with Jason they wrangled Liam and Nora in the audience for two hours while 200 plus names were called on stage. Apparently both kids behaved themselves very well. Liam was very impressed with the "fancy outfit" the graduates get to wear, so I think on some level he understood that this was important and special.

I, of course, sat in the front with the other graduates. I felt more pride and more finality (is that a word?) associated with this graduation than my high school or college graduations (I skipped my Purdue graduation altogether). Not only did I work really hard for the past six years to get to this point, but this graduation also marks the end of an era. I developed a whole life in New York that centered around Columbia, taking classes, doing research, and writing my dissertation. I had my friends at school and together we experienced the ups and downs that go along with something like this. I had a routine that used to include a morning cup of coffee at my desk in the student office at the National Center for Children and Families and evenings and weekends filled with reading, studying, and writing. When Liam was born, the routine morphed a little to include dropping him off at his classroom first and then having tea (instead of coffee) at my desk in the little secure-data office that Anna and I set up together. And I learned to cram all the work I had to do into the hours that Liam was in child care. But now only small shreds of that lifestyle and routine are still intact. And now with a second baby and eventually (soon, I hope) a full time job, those last few shreds will change too and we'll have to establish a whole new routine. This time the routine will likely not center around my work. It's going to revolve around Jason, Nora, and Liam and somehow I will also have to make my work fit in. That's not to say I won't work hard or that my job won't be a priority. But the days of making my work/research/education a lifestyle are over.

As I sat in the sea of caps and gowns during the graduation ceremony -separated from Nora for an extended period for the first time since she was born - these thoughts were swirling around in my mind. It was a lot of effort getting to this point. But I think the toughest work is still ahead. Building a meaningful career while maintaining a marriage and raising two children will be harder and a bigger juggling act than anything I've done before. But I think I'm ready so bring it on.